Skaldheim

For several years, Giants GM Brian Sabean had a simple defense for this strategy of signing older free agents every year to "fill in" around Barry Bonds. He said that he really couldn't just tear the roster down and rebuild because Giants fans would not stand for it. Giants fans expected a contender every year, and didn't have the patience for actual rebuilding.

Well, the Giants are finally rebuilding now. They're making sausage, and we have to watch, and we all know it isn't pretty. From what I heard about the first home game, the crowd booed several players before and during the game. I think this is just proving Sabean right. I don't like seeing the horrible baseball our team is playing any more than anyone else, but perhaps we need to cut these guys some slack.

The Giants should get some kudos for reversing course and recognizing Barry Bonds' home run records with a couple of plaques at AT&T Park. This proves that they do listen to the fans and the media (Bruce Jenkins at the Chronicle, thanks for the suggestion which the Giants evidently took). Since they are listening, let's give them the right message -- rebuilding is good, it's necessary. It's long overdue, and it's ugly, but it's the right path. The Giants are going to hit rock bottom this year, but at least the worst will be over.

Hold back on the booing. Thanks.

Baseball season starts on Monday. In unrelated news, I have a dentist's appointment on Friday. No wait, these are related. I'm really looking forward to the dentist far more than I'm looking forward to the Giants season. (Oh, do I even have to give the punch line? Okay -- the dentist offers novocaine, that's why!)

The conventional wisdom on the Giants this year is universal. They stink. How much do they stink? Well, Joe Sheehan of Baseball Prospectus called them something like "Matt Cain, Tim Lincecum and 23 Fresno Grizzlies." Now, I have to take exception to that. The Fresno Grizzlies, in case you hadn't noticed, beat the San Francisco Giants in a baseball game the other night. Sheehan is obviously giving the Giants far too much credit.

I could go on, but that's not really the point. Let's take it for granted that we're in for a long season filled with losses and ineptitude. The question is, as a fan, what do you do in the face of such of a disaster? If you're really a fan, you can't just not watch. The mark of the true fan is the utter inability to ignore the team, come better or worse. It's like when a brother, or a cousin, or perhaps an occasionally amusing and fondly remembered stepsister ends up on "Cops." Or worse, MySpace. While every fiber of logic and pride would demand that you distance yourself from the fiasco, it's simply not an option. Said embarrassing relative is a part of your life, and always will be. You could no sooner turn your back on that person than you could admit to paraphrasing a presidential candidate's speech!

Therefore, you must watch. I figure, if you're going to watch anyway, you might as well find a way to enjoy it.

Admit it. There's a bit of a thrill in witnessing something that is bad in an epic, clumsy way. Take any "Highlander" movie, for example. (Or, for you older fans, any of the movies of Ed Wood. Or, for you teenagers, any of the recent movies of George Lucas.) It's not well done, not at all. Yet there it is, loud and demanding your attention. "Here I am, a commercial piece of professional film-making. Please watch me and be impressed by my...whatever it is I thought I had to offer." All you can do is watch it trip and stumble over itself, unashamed, or even unaware of its own faults; and you feel your mind expand as you realize that there are levels of badness that you hadn't even stopped to imagine. Then you smile and laugh from the sheer lunacy of the world and the people in it. Later, you tell your friends about its awfulness, and you all have a great laugh.

A baseball team that could lose 120 games (and yes, I'm serious, but I'll get back to that momentarily) is like "Highlander 2"...in its original, theatrical cut, where they were really aliens after all, and...well, never mind, just go see it if you want to know. You keep hoping it gets better, but you're very impressed that it never does -- and for years later, you enjoy telling your friends about just how hideous it was, and you all have a great laugh.

Now, I don't approve at all of rooting for your team to lose. I certainly won't be doing that. I will root for them to win every game. I just don't expect that to happen very often; maybe forty percent of the time, if all goes well. In that forty percent, Cain or Lincecum should give the team a really good chance of winning. Cain is liable to throw a no-hitter any particular start, and I can't wait to see that. Yet, the Giants have a horrible track record keeping young pitchers healthy and productive. What if Cain breaks something? What if Lincecum gets sucked down the shower drain? If one of them goes down for the year, it could cost the Giants 10 wins. If both of them somehow vanish, then the Giants could give the '62 Mets a run for their money.

And herein lies the real key to enjoying the upcoming season by your "All Outs, All Season" Giants -- lowering your expectations as far as possible. Worst case, for years afterwards you'll enjoy telling your friends just how pathetic the 2008 Giants were, and you'll all have a great laugh. Really.